JessiCat has been on the prowl for the last several weeks. No, I’m not turning into a cougar, I’ve been on the hunt for a job. My current position will end in two months when my boss retires and standing in an unemployment line, well, just doesn’t appeal to me. Since my backup career as a Rock Chick doesn’t pay all that well, it’s either time to become a Rock Star or get another job. Neither alternative is easy. Lady Gaga already stole all my ideas (I could totally be her!) and the want ads are slim pickings.
It’s been a while since I’ve done any job hunting and it did seem a bit easier back in the day. I’m facing a double curse, it seems. Besides the fact that in this economy there are few positions to compete for, I am over forty. What? Forty is too old to hire now? I thought 40 was the new 20! Somebody lied to me.
I spent a bit of time researching how to compensate for my additional wisdom and experience and learned my main problem is probably stereotyping, and by stereotyping I mean that there seems to be some notion out there that 40 year old women are dumpy hausfraus. What do I mean? Take a look…
“Get a current looking suit and maybe have it tailored so that it’s not so “snug”. I am 5’9” and weigh 130 lbs. N/A. But wait, a new suit? What are they trying to say? My tattered robe and bleach stained sweats aren’t acceptable interview wear?
“Those gray hairs give away your age.” What? They do? What could I do about that? If there were only some way to color them! Hmmmm…. perhaps I can camouflage them with some curlers… or a babushka!
I need not worry about those things, but there is something that’s concerning me. The dreaded resume. It’s not that there’s anything bad on my resume, quite the contrary, it’s trying to write a resume that makes your skills (or waitress job) seem like you performed feats beyond all previous human accomplishments. For example, one should say “Acted as a “sales representative” for the restaurant, selling add-ons and extras to achieve one of the highest per-ticket and per-night sales average” instead of “Asked if they’d like fries with that.”
I totally get the putting your best foot forward thing, but I would also think employers would already have better things to do than decipher such nonsensical descriptions of previous employment. What’s wrong with saying “I was a waitress and a damn good one”? That’s much more palatable to me than that marshmallow fluff people are trying to get others to swallow as job descriptions.
Even more confusing is what to do with my true strengths that aren’t related to an employment history at all. I can organize, juggle and stay on top of four extremely active and talented teenagers in a single bound. I can deal with a customer problem on the phone, eat, make certain my kids have their cheerleading outfits and drive at the same time, all while planning my high school class reunion. I have the fifteen hour a day schedules of a family of six down to an exact minute science and I still manage to be one of the top sales producers in my office. I am a master at stretching a dollar, stain removal, and last minute shopping. I can find the answer to anything on the internet in seconds, I can tutor and help with homework in subjects I’ve personally never studied and I can make my house look company ready in 15 minutes. These companies would be lucky to have me!
Those are definitely “skills” and I’ve yet to encounter anything in any workplace that is more demanding or requires more detail to attention and organization than the job of “mom”. That’s right, I may be a Customer Service and Sales Representative for part of the day, but I am a wife and mom twenty-four hours a day and a damn good one! That ought to count for something.
Perhaps I can add Rock Star of sorts to my resume! All cleverly worded suggestions on how to do this accepted.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey, can’t you put “detective” on your resume? Or, since you’ve written all the stories about Bon Jovi, maybe “stalker” should be on there?
It is quite a pity that the job market is in the tank. But, I’m pretty confident that you’ll find one you like. If it’s any comfort, most women are in the same boat: they have “true strengths that aren’t related to an employment history at all.”
You keep looking, and I’ll keep buying lottery tickets, so I can dig us out of this economic hole! You are on my list, when my ticket comes in
. Just don’t hold your breath, ok?
This Eclectic Life´s last blog ..Titillation Part Two
Last time I went to apply for a waitressing job I was the overweight 29 year old applying with teeny 19 year olds. My ten years of experience and fun demeanor did nothing toward getting hired. I ended up running back for another 2 year sentence at the old reliable restaurant. Best of luck! Someone will be lucky to snag you up!
Sarah´s last blog ..Good Samaritans
Check our Resume_Writer on Twitter. Her blog has helpful info.
Kitty Krueger´s last blog ..Roasted Garlic and Sweet Potato Soup
If I were writing your resume, I would just use the last two paragraphs. If nothing else, the “lucky to get me” line would insure that the person hiring you had enough brains to be your employer. You wouldn’t want to settle for an inferior position.
Jamie´s last blog ..The Queen’s Meme #21 – The Wisdom at 21
whew! lol for that!
tell them “LIFE BEGINS AT FORTY” so hire me now because life begins on me! We’ll see if you’ll get the top position for that. Bwahahaha! Seriously though, I think if they won’t hire you, those employers are close to stupid. 
Sarah Holiday´s last blog ..Holiday Cottage in Cornwall
Hey Jessica,
I tagged you in a meme. No pressure, just wanted to let you know. Have a great night!
Sarah´s last blog ..
It reminds me of my hunting job days.Looking for a job is not easy you need to have more patience and determination. I experienced rejection because of discrimination of some of the company they are looking a person who have height. At that time i feel hopeless And I feel pity to my self and asking why?. As i rode the book positive mental attitude equals success. All of this has a purpose and its helps me to motivates me to be hopeful and to have a positive outlook in life. more power to your site!!!