JON BON JOVI!!!
Jon Bon Jovi
The Rock Chick is very excited! The love lust of my fantasy life, the one and only Jon Bon Jovi, is coming to Chicago’s Soldier Field in July 2010. I know, that’s a long time to wait, right? One could complete a year of school or have a baby in that amount of time, but I’m still counting down the days.
Yes, I’ve already seen Bon Jovi…quite a few times. He’s always amazing, but it’s really time to move forward in my Bon Jovi relationship. Nothing dirty. I just want to touch him. Nothing more than a handshake, but trust me, touching Bon Jovi is no easy feat. I’ve tried.
Even Lady Gaga’s paparazzi “I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you love me” stalking technique hasn’t worked. I once shamelessly flirted with security guards who allowed me to sit on wood chips behind a back stage door in an attempt to meet Bon Jovi. He came out on the opposite side of a chain link fence. So close, but still no Jovi touch-a, touch-a, touch me.
Since I don’t know anybody who knows Bon Jovi, my stalking techniques to date haven’t been successful and let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and there’s plenty of youthful hotties he’d probably rather touch, I decided I might have to resort to buying my way into a Bon Jovi touching. There are the exclusive VIP packages available at the upcoming Soldier FIeld concert. Last time, there were people practically on the stage with The Jovi. Some of those people did get to touch Bon Jovi!
All I have to do is put myself there.
I went to Ticketmaster and found the VIP packages. Wait a minute! The freakin’ Diamond VIP experience is $1,875.00? WTF? $1,875.00?! I don’t make that in a month!
The Diamond Package includes the following:
- One Incredible Front Row* Ticket inside the Exclusive Circle!*Or in the First Three Rows in the following markets: East Rutherford, Chicago, Foxboro, Regina, Toronto, Winnipeg & Edmonton.** Please note there is NO CIRCLE SECTION IN CALGARY – the Diamond VIP Package will be based on the First Row
- One Exclusive Collectable Bon Jovi VIP Concert Chair (You sit in it, you watch the show, and then you take it home with you!)
- Special VIP Cocktail Upon Arrival
- Deluxe Catered VIP Preshow Hospitality
- Deluxe VIP Open Bar*
- Dedicated On-Site VIP Host
- VIP Preferred Parking* (Where available)
- VIP Priority Check-In
- Separate VIP Entrance at Venue (Where available)
- One Autographed Bon Jovi Souvenir Tour Program!
- One Premium Bon Jovi Leather Messenger Bag (Created Exclusively For Circle VIP Packages Only!)
- $150.00 Gift Card to the On-Line Bon Jovi Store
- One Limited Edition Circle VIP Laminate & Matching Lanyard
- One Commemorative Souvenir Concert Ticket
WHAT?! “Somewhere in the first three rows” and (oh, boy!) I get to take my chair home with me? After cocktails? Doesn’t Jon Bon know I’m a lightweight? Somehow staggering my drunk ass (after I didn’t get to touch Bon Jovi) to the preferred parking lot while lugging a fold up chair just doesn’t sound like an $1875.00 experience to me. No, no, no. This package is unacceptable. I’m going to write the Bon Jovi people and offer up this Rock Chick package for that kind of money.
The Rock Chick’s “Thrill Me, Chill Me Fulfill Me” VIP Experience:
- At least two (preferably four) front row tickets to the concert. They can keep the furniture, the host, the VIP entrance, the hospitality and the parking spot, but I will need someone there to catch me in case I faint so I don’t crack my head open on a Bon Jovi chair.
- Not necessary, but it would be a nice touch if Jovi dedicated “It’s My Life” to me.
- (Speaking of touching) One Jon Bon Jovi touching experience. Not Richie Sambora, not David Bryan or Tico Torres…Jon Bon Jovi.
- One Bon Jovi autograph. On my hip. With a Sharpie. Only after that happens will I accept the cocktails (Tequila Sunrises, please).
- A coupon to a local tattoo parlor so that immediately after the concert my friends can drive me directly there, where I will get to further my Bon Jovi experience by saving my autograph for eternity in an inconspicuous place.
- I will accept the messenger bag and the gift certificate to the On-Line Bon Jovi store so I can buy the Bon Jovi bobble heads without having to spend my own hard earned money. You know, since I won’t have any left. I’m also really crazy about the red “We Weren’t Born To Follow” scarf with the lyrics on it. (Just in case anyone is looking to stuff The Rock Chick’s Christmas stocking)
That’s it. That’s all I want. I don’t think that’s asking too much for $1,875.00 considering my family and I won’t be able to eat or enjoy utilities, do you?
If you love JBJ as much as I do, you may also like: You Want To Make A Memory, BON JOVI!!!, I’ll Be There For You and Pick Up Lines
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
For only $300, you can hang out with Rick Springfield. For $380 you can hang out with him and buy an ugly necklace with an RS lyric on it.
KittyKrueger´s last blog ..Pumpkin Spice Bundt Cake
As much as I like RS, he is no JBJ
I am so sad for you, Rock Chick. Shall we have a JBJ-athon to earn you the money to go to see Bon Jovi? Will it help if I make a sad appeal for you? We could get this on national news, if we really tried
This Eclectic Life´s last blog ..Garlic Is Indeed A Tuber, But Should It Be In A Tube?