Life, Liberty and My Neverending Pursuit of Happiness, Bon Jovi and Catbooting

I’ve had it up to my nostrils with situations involving my son’s coaches. It’s a good thing Catbooting is not illegal because if that level reaches my eyeballs (which I fully expect by 3 PM), I’m gonna blow.

Contrary to the impression you might get about me through my stories, I am quite easygoing. Many have said too easygoing. I get along with just about everybody, mostly because if people do something rude/irritating/offensive/disrespectful, I still tend to just swallow it up and not say anything. I’m confident in saying that if I actually Catboot you, most people on this planet would have seriously kicked your ass long before that. I hold back even more with these high school coaches because they have a tendency to take it out on your kid.

My son is a freshman in high school and currently on the Varsity Co-Ed Cheer Squad and the Varsity Diving Team. (Cheer is a sport, people). He is a multi-sport athlete which is encouraged by the school. In fact, they even make a patch for the multi-sport athletes to display on their letterman’s jackets. In order to be a multi-sport athlete, you need an incredible amount of talent, stamina, organizational skills and a mother who is a saint.

These kids practice every sport for several hours every day except for Sundays. Keep in mind that I have four extremely active teenagers who all participate in multiple things because, you know, it’s encouraged by the school, and by me. It keeps them out of trouble and this is the time in their lives to do and experience these kinds of things, right? (Let’s face it, once you’re over 30, jumping around in a cheerleading uniform just isn’t all that cute anymore.) How will you know what hidden talents, strengths and interests you have if you don’t try different things?

I have the schedules down to a minute fraction of a second (I swear!) and I do everything humanly possible in order to accommodate the coaches. My kids are at every practice on time every time, while I wait in parking lots all the time while the coaches decide to hold practice over longer than scheduled. I drive other team members who don’t have rides, I host sleepovers and spend small fortunes on hair curlers and freeze hair sprays for anyone who needs it. I’m at every event I can be to cheer the kids on. I cancel my appointments when something comes up, I miss time at work and sometimes I don’t even eat. I make sure my kids always do their homework, even if it is 1 AM, so that they always remain eligible to participate. This scheduling gets even more complicated because my husband is still suffering from severe vertigo issues and has not been able to drive a car for more than six months now.

Phew!

So yesterday a time conflict problem started to rear it’s really ugly head and frankly, I am pissed. My son is to compete in a diving meet this afternoon. He has, in practice, beaten a long time standing Freshman diving record and is expected to do it in competition (where it counts) this afternoon. Because I go above and beyond, the plan was to get my son to this away school (in a blizzard) at 3:30, have him dive and then drive him back to the home school to go to cheer practice at the scheduled 6:30 time slot. Cheer goes to it’s first competition of the year on Wednesday.

This WAS the plan until the cheerleading coach changed the practice time to 3:30 and told my son that practice was mandatory and he was not allowed to go to diving. If he did, he would be off the squad. Of course, the diving coach told him something similar…miss the meet and you’re done with diving.

Ummm, I’m sorry rockheads, but that’s unacceptable to the momma and there’s one surefire way to end up with the heel of my Catboots in your ass is to screw with one of my kids.

Ding, ding, ding, momma’s picking sides on this one. Diving Coach wins.

Sorry, Cheerleading Coach, but you can’t change the time of a practice on short notice and expect everyone to be there because despite having been practicing for no less than three hours a day since June of last year, the Cheer squad is still not ready for its competition next week. When I say not ready, I mean the coach doesn’t even have the full routine choreographed yet. If this is the case, this doesn’t sound to me to be the same level of dedication expected of the kids and their parents. I’m there and I do what’s expected and so do my kids. It seems like the coach is not living up to his expectations, right? On top of that, he changed the time of the practice because he has another obligation.

Well, guess what, we do, too.

My son is a fantastic diver. I’m not just saying that as a mom, it’s true. He is expected to break a long standing record this afternoon and he will more than likely be state bound in a few short weeks. He loves it, he’s good at it, he’s not giving it up and he shouldn’t have to under these ridiculous circumstances.

We went back and forth with this until late last night and I told my son he is going to the diving meet. If the Cheer coach hadn’t have changed the times, I’d say he has an argument, but that’s not the case. Needless to say, my son is nervous about what will happen and very upset. We’ll deal with the fallout tonight. Short of cloning, I don’t know what else I can do.

Why do they have to make things so complicated? My opinion, too much testosterone, but what do I know?

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